Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
