everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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