i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
