This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
