In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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