Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i black out too much to be "responsible"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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