No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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