Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
50% drunk capacity currently
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
