you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
