I bet he comes in French.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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