Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Couch. On fire.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
