i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
