too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
