I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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