just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
