shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
