There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
