So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
that is very illegal...i love you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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