I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
