All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
