So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
