I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
high people should be assigned attendants
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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