Got a toothbrush?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
