she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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