When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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