My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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