It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize