You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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