that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
