seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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