There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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