would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
