Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
