I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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