he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
