Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
