I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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