i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
