Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
