Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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