she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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