Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
