Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
