so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
