Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
