her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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