You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
