Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
