OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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