Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize