i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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