Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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