hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
