My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
