I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
