why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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