apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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