I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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