Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
me + whiskey = a bad person
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
