you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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