I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
