Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
