I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
