There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
